Pimp my couch

At 3am in the dark night of the soul the thought often occurs “Why is Segway?” and you babble incoherently “Down there…those things…legs… for walking… or if I want to go faster, for cycling…” Now the news has come through that Segways have been banned in the Netherlands except when used in private by consenting adults.

The lurid late night raving is all caused by the inner gadget geek’s desire for a Segway while the more rational self suspects that every upright Segway user has a prone couch potato dark side. And we think that at last we have found the platonic ideal of the Segway, the guilty secret locked away in every Segway user’s heart.

These adaptively reused couches are available from Armchair Cruisers


  1. Joe
    Posted 18 Jan ’07 at 9:31 am | Permalink

    Those pimped out couches are great – but you should know the reason we Segway users ride standing up is because we want to avoid them. The SUV, with it’s air conditioned interior and power everything is truly a lazy boy on wheels. Cars have already succeeded at mass induced laziness; Segways are a step in the opposite direction. It requires dexterity and creativity to choose to ride a Segway, neither of which is a pre-requisite for SUV ownership. Car manufacturers do not want you to think outside the box. At 20km/h I get everywhere I need to go on my Segway in about the same amount of time (a short to mid-range inner-city commute), without parking hassles. People regularly tell me how awesome I look. They never gave me the time of day when I used a car – just road rage. If you’re trying to sell these admittedly sexy couches to lazy people, you’re barking up the wrong tree. The only reason a Segway owner would buy one is because, like the Segway itself, they look pretty cool.

  2. Ian Milliss
    Posted 18 Jan ’07 at 10:20 am | Permalink

    You’ve made me realise a very relevant point. Part of my reaction to Segways is that at first they were limited to a speed that was little more than a jog. At 20km/h they are are almost as fast as an SUVs in traffic so on that basis they’re a much better proposition.

    Hey, in my next post I did say there may be a place for them but basically they are a high tech solution to a problem that can be solved as easily and more healthily by a bicycle (or if necessary a partly powered bicycle). But not so cool, eh? Isn’t that one of the biggest problems the world faces, that we are being destroyed by the consequences of over consumption much of which is little more than advertising-induced false solutions to the human need for status?

  3. Posted 16 Jan ’08 at 10:28 am | Permalink

    Thanks for the kind words. I am glad for the most part that you seem to think they are cool. I really never thought my rides would even be metioned with the segway in the same sentence. I see it more and more though. My machines arent really meant to solve any one particular problem. I manufacture the machines for people with differing interests, a spectrum that encapsulates all people. Young, old, weak, strong. Each one, in the deep recesses of ones mind can find something cool about our creations. It is not a status symbol that people desire with my machines. I do not build them for status. I build them for the user to have fun with. Enjoy. Laugh, love or enjoy the ride with a friend. In some small way, I bring people together. To talk about it, ride them, laugh or ridicule them. If you think that owners are being lazy, you are misslead. They are being social. In cool comfort.

    Dan Helton

  4. WHAT
    Posted 21 Sep ’13 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    COOL i like it

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